Big Al's View Of The World
JANUARY 2012 - HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM COWBOY SPORTS NEWS MAGAZINE
It seems like here lately you can't go a week without seeing on the news about a little old granny that was molested by an airport security person. We were in the Denver airport last year when they rolled up a handicapped girl that was maybe 14 years old in a wheelchair. They made her stand up as good as they could and frisked her like she was a common street thug. They also made my wife go through the body scanner just as they motioned me to pass on through. I will admit she can be a little like a terrorist on occassion, but she probably didn't need to be put through the body scanner.
Used to be when you were younger you're mom would always say to make sure you had on clean underwear so that if you had to go to the hospital you wouldn't be embarrased with your underwear full of holes. Now it seems you've got to have clean underwear to go to the airport. They say these body scanners can make out your underwear. Boy I hope not. I only get new underwear about every other year or so. I guess I'll have to start coordinating my frequent flyer miles with my trips to the Wal-Mart mens intimate apparel section.
Anyway, back to the story. Every week there is someone on the news talking about what a violation of their diginity they experienced while going through a security checkpoint at the airport. They were forced to undergo a patdown just in order to get on a plane to Omaha. Last month my son and I went to a Houston Texans football game at Reliant Stadium in Houston. As we are walking up to the stadium everyone is wearing their Texans jerseys with the name of their favorite player and running around acting crazy with red and blue hair and face paint. As we approach the gate I notice they are doing patdowns of everyone that is entering the stadium. I thought oh heck, here it comes. We're gonna see some redneck make a scene because someone touched him in the wrong place. Not a peep. Every crazy football fan in Houston was walking up there with arms raised and feet spread. You would have thought they'd had a mass arrest roundup and we were all walking into the jail "hands up." Every redneck in town was passing through those gates just as quiet and peaceful as if they were going to grandma's funeral.
Put `em on a plane to Omaha and you had better not dare touch the armpit, but run `em through a turnstile like cattle in an oversize football jersey and they all of a sudden become docile veal calves being led to slaughter.
It just goes to show you how much more football means to them. They would have each submitted to a full body stripseach just to get inside to see the Texan cheerleaders run around during halftime and for the chance to pay $9 for a foamy glass of beer that flat enough to pass as water.
I think I would have rather done the cavity search than pay the $40 for a bbq sandwich and coke for my son and I. There were times when I thought of going and getting security on the guy in front of me and telling them he was a terrorist. Of the 80,000 people in the stadium he was the only one with the Houston Texans sign he had gotten from Krogers the day before. On the rare occassion he actually used the seat for sitting, he would hold the sign up in front of me. I've often wondered if they had a no standing rule in the very first row would no one else in the whole stadium stand up? I think when the first person stands up then each row after that has to stand up to see over them. Pretty soon the whole stadium is standing just to see over the person in front of them. How come we call them armchair quarterbacks when they sit on the couch all day and watch football, but the second they step foot into a stadium they never sit down. They could have saved money on chairs when they built the place as no one ever uses them during the game.
Happy New Year,
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